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I was greeted with a big hug by my cousin when I visited her along with my family to my native for her marriage. All I could manage was to say a loud “CONGRATULATIONS DIIII”. She gave me a sweet smile with a thank you.
She was all excited about her marriage that she took active participation in all the arrangements for it. Indian weddings are usually huge and continue for 3-4 days. It starts with various rituals to be followed to the final day of marriage and then final goodbye from her parent’s house. North Indians typically have their actual weeding rituals during the night.
We found our self’s listening to some funny incidences and talks she has with her fiancé over the phone. Every person got engrossed in her little world. Things went perfectly well. All rituals went fine and the D-day arrived when the couple would be announced man and wife in front of whole world. By the time birds announced it to be day every one was ready to bid the girl bye. The bride – my cousin would be leaving her parents and staying with her new family- her husband.
With in seconds the whole atmosphere was changed by a wave of sadness. This was when I thought about our social life. From childhood to adulthood we girls are protected, loved, pampered by our dearest parents and suddenly we are asked to change and survive in the new environment where you may find a mother-like image but not your mother. With only one hope and one reason a girls leaves every thing behind and walk into a new life. And the hope is love.
Indian wedding mostly ends with lot of crying by the girls-side family. My cousin who till the previous night was all very excited was drown into ocean of tears. She was made to sit in the train with the groom’s family and the brides family gathered around the window of the train to console and talk to her. Every one went near to the window and in their way tried to comfort her. I could not gather the courage to go near to her and say any thing to her but in few minutes I found my self holding her hands and tapping them with mine. She cried more and more as the train left the station.
Men are supposed to be strong, and they cannot cry in public. Most men remain in their calm however emotionally broken they are. But this is one time when any father or brother would be seen with tears rolling down his eyes. Once the train left the station I was shocked to see my uncle breaking down in the station and other men trying to get hold of him.
The worst part of a wedding is the ritual of bidding the girl bye…it is called ‘Bidai’ in India. As a girl I always have a soft corner for the girls going through her bidai. But I was thinking what it must be like to be the groom and watching your bride and her family crying as if they are crying for their lives. It must be a feeling of guilt, a thief (stealing away the family treasure- the daughter) or just so annoyed by the drama going around him. But whatever the feeling is he must be terrible as his wife is weeping herself out during this custom.
Few hours later we called my cousin to ask if she was ok. She sounded excited and as normal as she was during her wedding time. Probably we girls are made to enjoy the present momet leaving behind the past or the boy’s family is too good at wiping off the crying girls tears.
She was all excited about her marriage that she took active participation in all the arrangements for it. Indian weddings are usually huge and continue for 3-4 days. It starts with various rituals to be followed to the final day of marriage and then final goodbye from her parent’s house. North Indians typically have their actual weeding rituals during the night.
We found our self’s listening to some funny incidences and talks she has with her fiancé over the phone. Every person got engrossed in her little world. Things went perfectly well. All rituals went fine and the D-day arrived when the couple would be announced man and wife in front of whole world. By the time birds announced it to be day every one was ready to bid the girl bye. The bride – my cousin would be leaving her parents and staying with her new family- her husband.
With in seconds the whole atmosphere was changed by a wave of sadness. This was when I thought about our social life. From childhood to adulthood we girls are protected, loved, pampered by our dearest parents and suddenly we are asked to change and survive in the new environment where you may find a mother-like image but not your mother. With only one hope and one reason a girls leaves every thing behind and walk into a new life. And the hope is love.
Indian wedding mostly ends with lot of crying by the girls-side family. My cousin who till the previous night was all very excited was drown into ocean of tears. She was made to sit in the train with the groom’s family and the brides family gathered around the window of the train to console and talk to her. Every one went near to the window and in their way tried to comfort her. I could not gather the courage to go near to her and say any thing to her but in few minutes I found my self holding her hands and tapping them with mine. She cried more and more as the train left the station.Men are supposed to be strong, and they cannot cry in public. Most men remain in their calm however emotionally broken they are. But this is one time when any father or brother would be seen with tears rolling down his eyes. Once the train left the station I was shocked to see my uncle breaking down in the station and other men trying to get hold of him.
The worst part of a wedding is the ritual of bidding the girl bye…it is called ‘Bidai’ in India. As a girl I always have a soft corner for the girls going through her bidai. But I was thinking what it must be like to be the groom and watching your bride and her family crying as if they are crying for their lives. It must be a feeling of guilt, a thief (stealing away the family treasure- the daughter) or just so annoyed by the drama going around him. But whatever the feeling is he must be terrible as his wife is weeping herself out during this custom.
Few hours later we called my cousin to ask if she was ok. She sounded excited and as normal as she was during her wedding time. Probably we girls are made to enjoy the present momet leaving behind the past or the boy’s family is too good at wiping off the crying girls tears.
