There are two types of calendars in India-
one is the normal English calendar with public holidays marked and beautified
pictures for each month. One will also find family God/ Saint in the yearly
calendar in almost all the household. Another type of calendar is the regional
calendar which will have the region wise festivals and days, mostly dull and
filled with data for the year, only you need to be expert to read and analyze
the data printed. The moment New Year Hindi calendar arrives at home, there are
certain festivals which need to be marked and arrangements made accordingly.
Like you need to book tickets to home town at least 4 months prior to Diwali so
this date needs to be marked and remembered to book relevant tickets on time.
One such festival most of north Indian women
are crazy about is Karva Chauth (KC). Thanks to films and TV serials this is
now a fashion and show off more than then festival. A month prior wife demands
budget for her KC preparation. An expensive saree, matching jewelry, decorative
plates and sweets are to be arranged, but on top of all this expenses, wife
also expect a surprise gift from husband which becomes disappointment incase no
gifts are offered at the end of the day “whole day efforts gone wasted”. Also
there will be at least one male friend or family who fasts along with the wife
and if it’s not the case with you, a bigger surprise is awaited. Husband stuffed
is tummy with food and you starving the whole day without even water not fair
you deserve a surprise element in return.
I face phases on the day of KC repeating
every year, learnt gradually to overcome them but phases also improve.
Phase 1- A month prior, prep phase. I have
made it a point that in a year I get a saree (expensive) from hubby dear. So he
need to come with me help selecting, which we end up rejecting his choice and
pay for my choice saree that’s it. Next my work for matching jewelry and blouse
prep is pending. Once all is done I am all set for the festival.
Phase 2- A day before the KC, booking family
meet phase. Trying to figure out with whom I can celebrate the KC. I am not
well verse with the ‘to do list’ of the festival. If I do alone, it feels a bit
boring and ending up doing only half of the stuff, celebrating with friends or
family is a better choice. The biggest issue is each family has its own way of
doing the pooja so the family I celebrate with guides me their way of
performing the ceremonies, which is why my mother in law is never completely
satisfied with the way I do these Pooja as it does match the rituals she wants
me to perform. Each year I have been told by my mother in law and the family I
am with how to perform all rituals and it’s complicated!
Phase 3- Preparation for office phase. The day
before KC, I generally search a beautiful saree from my previous stock of
untouched saree, to be worn in the morning while going to office. Relatives
suggests to be at home during the fast- WHAT really am I not well why will I
stay at home and mark a holiday just because I am fasting? Personally I choose
to go out of home as it diverts my mind and help forgetting about the fasting
part. Normally I am not foodie but knowing that the food is not allowed for the
rest of the day makes me foodie. So going to office is mandate. On the KC day
when I get up smiling an instant decision is been taking looking at the running
hands of the clock “no saree wear a nice heavy salwar suit and rush out of the
home”.
Phase 4- early morning phase. Normally the
mornings are painful for me as I can’t control my hunger in the morning. I took
special waiver from the mom in law that I can have a glass of plain milk in the
morning for KC, so the day starts with milk filled tummy. As the day graduates
me and my other KC fasting friends’ feels proud of self, while other colleagues
who are not fasting chew their breakfast and for sure some munching at their
respective desk. But we fasting gang is in full control and not at all craving
for the food.
Phase 5- lunch time hunger phase. Try to
find more and more work to be engrossed, if an old friend passes by the desk
asking about the fasting they will have to listen to all the above phases by
default. It helps in feeling good and the sympathy from not fasting guys give
confidence enough for the rest of the day. Lunch time passes well, to my
surprise the food in canteen and the tiffin of colleagues don’t tempt at all,
they are any ways never welcoming. The inner soul is self-motivated till now.
Throat is demanding water but water can be avoided till evening after all it is
for my hubby dear.
Phase 6- Guilty phase. Throughout the year I
don’t fast very often so very important to stop the basic instinct to drink
water. The water bottle at the desk needs to be empty. Till 3:30 4 pm life was good
but as the clock stuck 4pm hungry peeps in and make noises in the stomach. Whether
I am at home or in office, as the day goes by there is regrets of keeping the
fast so strict comes up. Thoughts that husband must have had his lunch and now
heading towards coffee or evening snacks makes the regret feeling aggravate.
Here I am not eating a stuff and hubby filling his stomach with the tastiest
treat he can ever have craves in. So now not eating is no more an issue but
husband feeding himself becomes reason to get irritated.
Phase 7- Evening phase. As it’s a festival
leaving from office is my right. By now tummy stopped crying of hunger, as the excitement
creep in. Hubby is also no more a culprit as he will be worshipped in some time,
a new found love is born for him. If going to celebrate alone at home so
thinking of the food to be prepared gives pleasure otherwise excitement to get
ready and go for celebration with family/ friends is already dancing inside.
Phase 8- Waiting for moon, the worst phase. Food
is ready the fasting ladies all decked up and the waiting period of Moon
starts. Heavy clothes, jewelry are part of the Indian festival celebration; a
new craze is taking selfies in different poses and people. The best picture
needs to then segregated and posted on social media, checking for number of
likes and comments, other friends picture is another task to be performed while
waiting for our beloved moon.
If moon was a human he would be super happy
that all the pretty ornamented ladies waiting for his one look. The ladies are
waiting eagerly which gives the moon reason to show tantrums, since no one
really wait and celebrate him the whole year apart from this day.
Phase 9- Frustrated phase. As we get more
and more eager to worship the moon, it takes the longer time. Now along with
the hunger, thirst becomes instant poison; these last moments are very
difficult to bear. With the increase in the eagerness, phone calls to friends
and relatives in different part of India are made. This makes you feel good
that at least they have seen the moon and even started eating food while your
stomach is still making noise and asking you to fill in something and throat is
in abusive mood.
Phase 10- Food finally, the D-time phase. The
moment we see the moon, our patience have already been tested to the fullest. The
only thing that is in mind is to grab hubby and rush to the place the moon is
visible and basic Pooja can be done. This is the time I thank the moon to
finally show up. Fastest rituals will be performed and instruct the spouse give
me water and feed me the sweets- rest of the stuffs can be done later. That
small sip of water is amrit for the day, the importance of water can be felt
clearly. Feeling content with water and sweets inside there is a mix feeling of
thank fullness and yes satisfaction of completing the fast successfully and
minimal thought of food/ water.
Whatever said and done, I normally don’t
believe that my fasting will help increasing the life of my husband. The craze
of the festival in India makes me follow it, I take it as KC is a festival to
revive the love. It is a reason to buy clothes, get ready, make sweets (Okie I
buy sweets) and most importantly pampered by hubby dearest. It is a symbol to
show and receive love and care from both of us. It seems so pure to see our
adults smile and being shy while looking the moon and then their partners
though a round sieve while praying for each other’s happiness.
I am not in to force husbands in fasting on
this day, their wish they can accompany wife but at least stand next to her and
feel responsible in praying for happiness and togetherness.
Posts
Indian wedding mostly ends with lot of crying by the girls-side family. My cousin who till the previous night was all very excited was drown into ocean of tears. She was made to sit in the train with the groom’s family and the brides family gathered around the window of the train to console and talk to her. Every one went near to the window and in their way tried to comfort her. I could not gather the courage to go near to her and say any thing to her but in few minutes I found my self holding her hands and tapping them with mine. She cried more and more as the train left the station.
