Best Gift by God

My Parents often gets nostalgic whenever they think of the day I was born. Of-course they were super exciting for their first child but my mom says dad could not reach our native place- Ujjain; Madhya Pradesh city of lord Shiv, on time during my birth as she had to be rushed one afternoon to hospital by my uncle and family taking care of my mom and the unborn me.

Mom's case got a little complicated that doctor gave up on her and as per filmy scene the relatives were asked to choose whom to save- the mother or the child, and the mother was chosen. Luckily for me there was a senior doctor who came just in time to rescue me too and saved both of us. I was born normally which made all the relatives take a sigh of relief.

In India C section delivery is a taboo so the moment doctors says its normal delivery relatives starts the celebrations without really bothering to know the health or for that matter the gender of the child. If one female in the house has normal delivery and another cesarean than the later poor chap will have to listen to stories and greatness of the normal delivery of the former female. Years later when I was due giving birth to my first child and doctor announced there is a need for C Section, my family members first doubted the doctor's capability, then stared to infinity, again blamed the business requirement of the doctor and after 2 hours of long round table discussion and consulting my dad (a doctor) finally with heavy heart doctor was claimed right and my baby could breathe in open air on the date fixed by doctor via cesarean method. In such cases, till today people do not consider the risk on life, if my mother had been operated immediately to bring me out she would have not suffered for these many hours and risk her or my life.

So coming back to my birth story mom suffered the pain for good 8-9 hours and the nurses couldn't believe the calmness my mother had on her face. I asked her how the hell she did not scream and made the doctors go crazy knowing her impatient nature, to which she said “I was young having very limited knowledge about any of this sort, no one to support inside the labor room, was scared even to ask the doctor what is happening. Things were very different then so I sometimes regret been so ignorant what if anything went wrong, I was from a small town, never been to hospital and no awareness on the procedure which follows or what could be erroneous. The funny thing is that I patiently waited trying to be as calm as possible not screaming my throat out as there was also fear losing my child”.

This story also made me realise the importance of education apart from regular degree we gain, is so important for all to be attentive, informed and capable of taking decisions the right time during the time of crisis. Also there is a huge support system named husband who cannot be replaced with any amount of love and assistance from our dearest relatives (no offence but it is true).

My mom was from small town but shifted to Mumbai city with me following my dad, since then a small town girl have transformed herself to well informed, independent and confident women who can now turn everything upside down for her family.

Every year on my birthday she retrieves this story with same mix of emotions like fear, happiness, excitement and regrets to which I always conclude: “God gave you the best gift on your birthday- ME” to which she laughs and we wish each other HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

My Angel

God cannot be everywhere hence he sent his angels for kids, these angels we call as Mother!!

As a kid I heard this many times and completely believed in it. The power of mom’s love was very strong for me. People say I look like my mom and even talk like her. Yes true because I always wanted to be like her. The way she smiles, dresses, get ready, talks, walks, cooks, do anything and even loved her ideas on everything. I found her the most beautiful lady I have ever seen wanted to be just beautiful. She would listen to me for hours together even if she was bored of my talks, even if she could understand nothing, never ever has she ignored me.

I would pray to God and say Sorry to him. “Sorry that I love my mom more than you” “sorry I am dedicated to her more than you”, Guess God must have smiled at me, after all she was his sent angel, and she was his representative. I believe he must have accept my apologies as he has let my mom be my angel till date.

While growing I was busy in my life and ignored what I believed. Busy with friends, studies and other things made me forget to copy her or cherish her the way I used to, her support and ears were always there for me. Then I grew up got married and again have different challenges and a new angel (mother in law), I was adjusting and overcoming all personal and professional challenges applying her positive teachings. The thought of my mom been an angel has always been there in my head some deep inside my thoughts. Even after so much chores a happy situation or a big challenge, a new friend or meeting an old buddy was all I used to talk to her. I realized even after so many years she is the first person I want to run to and my mom listen to me with same beautiful expression. We don’t talk for hours now but those 5 minutes conversation is what she looks forward to.

I know even though she is glad/ and thank full that my hubby’s angel takes very good care of me she feels envious that I share the angel love. She never say that but I can feel it. It’s funny.

The fear I carry now, is that I have been given the role of an angel by my lord. My mom has been a wonderful angel but will I be able to serve a beautiful purpose of raising kids of my own and they have the same feeling I have for my mom, will my kids cherish me, my love and will I be able to do justice to the new role of my life, a new purpose lord gifted me. I am thank full that this privilege has been granted to me at the same time I remember the famous Spiderman dialogue; “With power comes great responsibilities” here the power is motherhood.  

Mixed feelings when you are a mom

My year old toddler was struggling to find a position in which he feels like sleeping. Final his head hit me hard on my nose and he settled on my arms. Not wanting to disturb him I ignored the knockout and didn’t move at all. 

I was looking at this lad, one hand holding a bunch of my hair, other hand’s thumb in his mouth, his head resting on my arms and eyes closed, he had a peaceful look on his face. While I was still starring him and feeling proud to me a mother he smiled in sleep and turned, his back facing me now and I realized he left my hair, and held my forearms with both his hands and was smiling still.

That was a cute sight, he simply curdled around my arms and kept the beautiful smile on. I just could not afford to miss the love I felt from him and in return I was smiling from ear to ear. Reality suddenly strike me, ‘oh I cannot move now’. I had made plans to perform the activities which otherwise I cannot do when he is wide awake and here the baby is sleeping and how will I do the work pending. Thinking about this I tried to move my hands but change in his expression made me stop any efforts towards escaping, I felt that it was my baby’s plan to hold me so he can peacefully sleep. Lying back and thinking all possible way to flee watching the hands of the wall clock in front of me moving.

Moments later I felt a tap on my hand, I ignored it then came a second tap on my face and heard a sound like eeeyaaaa. I gained my conscious and tried to recollect releasing that thinking about escape I slept for good 2 hours and my baby also slept peacefully for this long which he hardly does. I found a nice wide welcoming smile from my kid to which I smiled and hugged him back. He shouted eeyaa again got down from the bed and started to roam around in search of what to play with and I was there lying on my bed and banged my head, had mixed feeling for lost time but the naughty fellow made me sleep which is not bad either.